Periodical-Lee 2023

 

A year filled with learning, living, and loving…

•    12 – Near the 12th day of January when our younger child came out to us as transgender female. Our initial response was “all a parent wants is for their child to be happy.” Our first question was about her new name: Cassandra, which we love…

•    11 – …in that surprise (to us parents) family meeting, we saw a confidence in her eyes previously unseen despite all her considerable lifetime accomplishments.  These past 11 months have reinforced - because families also transition - she is and has always been becoming Cassandra. It’s beautiful to be part of our adult children’s lives as they continue to grow and that we all (grandparents to grandchildren) grow together.

•    10 – miles or 17 minutes commute to grandsons Graham (almost 3 years) and Sully (18 mos.) Although my brother and I visited our long-distance grandparents including two summers in Hawaii, it’s very special to see our grandkids almost every weekend and to pinch in whenever needed. And technology is there (“call Tutu, call Gung Gung”) on FaceTime when even 17 minutes is too far away! 

•    9 – Our 22-year-old cat Patches used all her feline lives (and then some). Amy put it best: “Never thought my childhood cat would live to see my children” - who loved playing with Princess Patches whenever they came over. For the first time in our marriage, our house is without pets or children because we wanted to give Patches peaceful end of days rather than bring in new cats/dogs, which is likely in 2024.

•    8 – days attending my two favorite church-related conferences (Anaheim, CA; Belleville, IL), which bring me learning, fulfillment, and enthusiasm each year. And this year provided a huge bonus: informative and supportive conversations for parents/relatives of transgender people.

•    7 – days in summer camp for Denise and the Scouts at sunny Camp Gamble. That Wednesday night a severe middle-of-the-night thunderstorm hit, and everyone waited out the event in a storm shelter. Sleep-deprived the next morning, they discovered much damaged equipment, including that big plastic tubs containing heavy tools had been lifted up, tossed about, and shattered. Thankfully everyone was safe.

Periodical-Lee 2022

A year filled with loss and sadness, and with birth, new hope, and gratitude…

•    12 – # of months Noah has lived on his own. He’s just moved again, to south St. Louis which has more activity. Denise and I enjoy grabbing coffee with Noah on most weekends. And there’s that wedding coming up in October 2023…

•    11 – # of Empty Nester months – house projects (two bathrooms) are finally done and we’re continuously decluttering. It’s been years since just the two of us, but Patches the intrepid 21.67-year-old cat says “The nest isn’t empty! Don’t forget that I scream for third breakfast and second dinner every day!”

•    10th and 2nd months – Key events for Denise’s father, Phil Bonzon.  Phil died in early February, well outliving the standard prognosis for an organ transplant in 2004. He was well-cared for in his final months at his assisted living residence not far from our house. That enabled Denise to visit several times a week. Phil did get to see Graham in person and we’re very grateful for that. 

•    9 – For nine months, Sherman has been back in the office three days a week (at home the other two) and that made it hard to rebuild the office chorus. Pitching the benefits of singing one hour a week irrespective of being at performances, people felt energized the rest of that day. They pulled off two successful gigs, with Sherman accompanying on piano.

•    8th month (August) – Our main SoCal visit (of four visits) was a family reunion at the desert mountain ranch to avoid crowded destinations. “Together time” is greatly treasured, with great food, art, and learning about family history, and glider rides! (That was Sherman’s first and probably last glider ride.)

•    7th day of June – Amy gave birth to Sully on 6/7 to share a birthday with father Drew. Sully has a keen sense of observation, soaking up the world around him. He can’t wait to try everything he sees big brother Graham doing!

Eulogy for Dad

For Alfred N. Lee

1941 - 2020

Eulogy for Alfred N. Lee (video)

28 December 2021

Punchbowl National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific

Honolulu, HI

Periodical-Lee 2021

Another year filled with the unexpected, of hopes scrapped, of plans scrubbed, of loss and grief. Another year also filled with resiliency, identifying and holding fast to the essential, going with the flow and staying together in spirit... 

•    Twelve– An extended Dec/Jan trip to Honolulu via SoCal for the funeral (12/28) of Sherman’s dad, Alfred. His ashes were laid to rest at Punchbowl Memorial Cemetery 20 months after dying of Covid. A very socially distanced reception was held in the courtyard of the church where Al grew up. When planned months prior we thought it safe to gather; with omicron we did what we could to honor his memory and bring him home to his birthplace. (Eulogy for Dad includes video/text)

•    Eleven– After not conducting interviews for years, Sherman rekindled that in hiring 11 folks in 2021. Seven of those were for building a new offshore team in India. And four others were for church-related work. All this was completed in time to enable the extended trip to Hawaii.

•    Ten– If it’s the last day of the tenth month, it’s Halloween, a special day for Noah and girlfriend Evan. 2021 was extra special as they got engaged! We’re so excited for these high school sweethearts, and look forward to the special day - probably in 2023 because everything’s already booked for 2022. 

•    Nine– Noah’s cat since a kitten, Cuddles, expended his ninth life in May.  The gray tabby with the loudest purr (and softest meow) lived 18 happy years. He will be missed. And Patches, the calico with hangry screams loud enough to loosen your ear wax, soldiers on towards her 21st birthday in April. It seems like she’s on her 11th of the her “nine lives”....

•    Eight– Back in August things were safe enough for us spend a week in SoCal, visit with family, enjoy In ‘n’ Out Burger and three new boba tea shops. The pandemic was waning then, right?!?

•    Seven– After months of job searching, Noah started a full-time position at Boeing here in St. Louis, started in July. He’s on the defense side of things, has security clearance, and we don’t ask him more than that. He didn’t move out until end of the year, allowing him to build up his finances, and we benefitted from his delicious cooking.

•    Six– Denise and I were grateful that our 2nd vaccinations became effective in June! That coincided with seeing item Three below.

•    Five– Denise continues her dedicated leadership within the Scouts of America, in her fifth year as the Eagle Scout Board, conducting reviews and effortlessly switching between Zoom or in-person. One milestone was her participating in the first Court of Honor for the first local female Eagle Scouts!

•    Four– # of new tech milestones in 2021, mentioning only two here. One was Sherman helping quickly convert an in-person conference to all virtual in February.  Another was producing this year’s Sunday School Christmas drama morphed from last year’s Zoom film to a live rendition synced with their pre-recorded audio so that children could safely mime their parts. There was also a bit of green screen magic to enhance the experience for those onsite or viewing from home.

•    Three– Graham Hanneke, first grandchild on both sides, was born in March. A couple of weeks later he had successful (one-time) open heart surgery. No significant impact on his development and years from now he can boast a scar to tell the story. Amy and Drew are loving parents, nurturing Graham and the two cats, Pascal & Ed. Not surprisingly, those three consider themselves siblings. He’s not going to be spoiled at all…

      Two– as in Denise being featured in a second book, “I’m Right Here: 10 Ways to Get Help for Hoarding and Chronic Disorganization” by Jill B. Yesko. How cool that she was recognized for her pioneering work in the field and was interviewed and written about by Jill!

•    One– as in the One who we celebrate this time of year...  

Together in Spirit with you in 2022! 

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Sherman & Denise, Amy & Drew & Graham, Noah & Evan

Periodical-Lee 2020

 

A year filled with the unexpected, of hopes scrapped, of plans scrubbed, of loss and grief. A year also filled with resiliency, identifying and holding fast to the essential, going with the flow and staying together in spirit... 

•    Twelve– or December, when we celebrated Noah's graduation from Missouri University of Science and Technology (MST) in Mechanical Engineering. The Facebook Live event was heartfelt in connecting with grads who succeeded during a pandemic. Plus, we got to hear every word, see every face (including some dogs!) and avoided the usual traffic jam after such an event.

•    Eleven– number of days Sherman visited SoCal (Denise joined partway) in February; would have been in India on business in April and also on the family vacation in Tuscany (and Paris) in August. It would have been Sherman's biggest travel year, and like most things this year, we grieve dashed plans and move on.

•    Ten– the average attendance on extended family Zoom calls each weekend, in lieu of the Tuscany/Paris trip. After about a month's worth we realized we had had more group discussion than during our weeklong vacations! It's our way of recognizing and appreciating the essential aspect of our trips. 

•    Nine– 9th of June was when Denise's mom, Pat, died after years of several medical conditions. Her last few weeks were in home-based hospice and the staff made her time as sweet as possible, much like the sugary treats she preferred.

•    Eight– number of nights per week JDenise makes calls to Eagle Scouts to schedule their review sessions. Like most things in pandemic mode it takes twice as long to be half as productive, and she has certainly risen to the challenge. And even before the pandemic she was given the District Award of Merit and “Spark Plug” awards. One wooden plaque misspelled her name as “Deniese”, which she wears as a badge of honor.

•    Seven– month in which Denise's chapter "Use a 'Maybe List' to Keep Yourself Focused" was published as part of the book "1 Habit for a Thriving Home Office". So cool to see her name in print, after all that hard work!

•    Six– roughly the number of months Noah’s spring co-operative work would have been (based in STL) but was truncated by the pandemic. At least he avoided the initial round of remote classes.

•    Five– number of creative/tech bucket list items achieved by Sherman in these pandemic-necessitated times: Recorded/engineered handful of new church band songs; led the band at a service outside the church building for in-person and web audiences; upgraded church tech to handle multi-camera video livestreaming; audio engineered the office chorus's first virtual song; and co-directed / video-edited this year's film of the Christmas drama (usually a play).

•    Four– or April, when Sherman's dad, Alfred, succumbed to COVID-19 in Queens, NY, among the first 100,000 US fatalities. Rather than focus on pandemic loss (different in those earlier days), we choose to remember Al's bonus years, since his 2014 heart attack and stroke. Brother Michael and Sherman nursed Dad through rehab. During and after his brain's rewiring, our relationships were the best during all of our adult lives. We now appreciate those bonus years more than ever.

•    Three– number of camping trips for Denise/Sherman in 2020 and also since getting married 30 years ago. (When Denise camped with the Boy Scouts, Sherman would stay home with the pets) With everything else closed in 2020, Sherman learned how easy and fun camping can be with someone who really knows how!

      Two– second year residing back in STL for Amy and Drew, as Drew works remotely for Boeing and Amy goes onsite for her job a registered dietician. We socially distance visit them in their backyard/garage about twice a month. The biggest upside about us not hugging isn't the actual hugging but avoiding Sherman's awkward approach to hugging. We look forward to a time when we can hug, awkward approach and all...

•    One– as in the One who we celebrate this time of year...  

Together in Spirit with you in 2021! 

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Sherman, Denise, Noah, Amy and Drew

Periodical-Lee 2019

Another blisteringly fast year of transitions, milestones and family gatherings, oh my. It’s less frequent that we can all get together so every opportunity to gather is precious and eagerly savored, and we share here with you... 

•    Twelve- # of events at which Sherman kept improving his pro audio gear to help at church (at the annual Sunday School Christmas play), local theater events, fundraiser trivia nights, his Hawaiian band and also at the annual International Crossings (where Sherman is a Co-Executive Director) Conference. And can you believe that Sherman was cajoled into performing a song and dance number during one of those shows, even though he's only ever had one dance lesson?

•    Eleven- days at the annual destination family reunion, this time in Kaneohe/Oahu/Hawaii, and had a great time visiting new sites and revisiting places where Sherman and his brother Michael had spent two summers as children.

•    Ten- or October, when Amy and Drew bought a house… in the St. Louis area! One of our high points of the year is that after stints in Idaho and Denver, they decided to relocate and find jobs here. 

•    Nine- semesters of duration before graduation. Although he needs just a few more credits to finish his degree, Noah will be working at a co-operative at a STL area company this spring, acquiring industry experience in mechanical engineering. Graduation is slated for December 2020.

•    Eight- As in at least eight camping trips that Denise took with the Boy Scouts. Sherman visited summer camp on Family Night (July 4th) with Ted Drewes vanilla frozen custard, fresh strawberries and blueberries for a red/white/blue dessert for all the scouts. Whereas Denise loves camping, Sherman has never gone, although he is researching special external battery packs for his CPAP machine and it might happen in 2020.

•    Seven– or July, when Denise completed her Certified Senior Advisors credentialing, meaning she's an educational and support specialist in aging dedicated to improving lives of older adults. This is an extension of work as a professional organizing consultant. That her final exam took place during tornado warnings and flinching electrical power is probably an omen of her own steadfastness in helping her clients weather any storm.

•    Six– or so miles on the Ka`au Crater Hike where Noah, Drew and step-brother-in-law (is that even a term?) Jordan faced their most technically challenging hike (mud, drizzle and steep pitches) and returned with all limbs intact.

•    Five- or May, when we visited KC with Amy and Drew to see her receive her Master’s degree in Dietetics and Nutrition from the University of Kansas

•    Four– nights (& five days) during which Denise & I visited relatives in Southern Cal, especially during a cousin's cancer treatment. Warm weather in late winter, great food including In-N-Out burger, and spending time with relatives – what's not to love?

•    Three– or March, when Denise was a featured subject matter expert in the cover article on hoarding in the March 2019 issue of St. Louis magazine. Check it out at https://www.stlmag.com/longform/hoarding/

•    Two- # of retirements of close friends, and combining here with also more funerals than usual. It's not so much the number of events as it is remembering the lives and love of close ones, including personal mentor and Crossings co-founder, Ed Schroeder. Regarding retirements it's about staying in touch and celebrating with parties. This year ended with a great party: while the office chorus was at their last performance, co-workers snuck into and decorated the chorus room for an epic retirement party (80 people in a room suited for 50) and completely surprised dear friend Tom. Denise and I will continue to double-date with Tom and his wife Cathy... and stay in touch as we try to do with all of you.

•    One- as in the One who we celebrate this time of year...  

Health, happiness and humor to you in 2020! 

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Sherman, Denise, Noah, Amy and Drew

Periodical-Lee 2018

It’s been another year of transitions (because what year isn’t?) which included several milestones and family gatherings. It’s less frequent that we can all get together so every opportunity to gather is precious and eagerly savored and we share here with you... 

•    Twelve- # of camping trips and hikes taken by Denise as a Boy Scout leader; she serves as a commissioner and also co-coordinator for the Eagle Scout Board of Review

•    Eleven- months Sherman has been Co-Executive Director of the Crossings Community, an organization that significantly influenced him after his adult baptism. Now he’s joined its leadership, applying skills learned from his day job to help Crossings broaden and deepen its readership and conferences. Check out www.crossings.orgfor more information and videos Sherman helped create (and also appeared in a couple).

•    Ten- Denise’s milestone birthday is a multiple of this number and was the capstone of our year. Originally a couple’s weekend birthday getaway because the kids live out of town, we postponed the beginning of the trip to join a dinner meeting at our pastor’s house. Eventually Denise noticed that not all the guests were church members and realized the party was for her. While singing “Happy Birthday”, a special cake emerged from the kitchen presented by Amy and Noah, who made special trips to join the fun. Not a dry eye in the house! (On the card, see the largest photo: us four plus Noah’s girlfriend, Evan.)
That party was just the beginning of several days of family reunion (sadly without Drew), doing staycation stuff including a visit to an escape room, where we kept Amy’s perfect escape record intact. 

•    Nine- months Denise has spent studying for the Certified Senior Advisor (CSA), a rigorous interdisciplinary program for those seeking certification working with the elderly, which is a growing part of Denise’s day job as professional organizing consultant

•    Eight- number of major events where Sherman had pushed his own envelope as talent (emcee/sing/accompany) and tech (sound and videography), filling in as “jack of all trades, master of none” to help non-profits whenever and wherever needed

•    Seven– days in Montreal for the family gathering destination vacation, where we got to speak French semi-fluently, see fabulous city murals and Noah had his first legal drink (legal age is 19). Best of all was the informal family fun time between all the sightseeing and food excursions. (See upper right photo of three of us, sans Amy who couldn’t join this year.)

•    Six– years of study culminating with Amy’s Masters in Nutrition in December, augmenting her Registered Dietitian certification from last year. See www.satisfy-nutrition.comfor a taste of her insight on food and life.

•    Five- square this number to get Amy’s milestone birthday in November, just as Noah had a milestone (21^st) birthday in December, which led to a second “first legal drink” here in STL

•    Four– cats in our extended family. Our own Cuddles and Patches perennially hold the ‘Two’ slot but now that Amy has convinced husband Drew to have a second cat (nicknamed ‘Tiny Bug’ following the ‘Bug’ nickname of the older cat), we’re always excited to receive Snapchats sent to the ‘Grand-Paws’

•    Three– states visited on trip to see Amy and Drew in Idaho. Saw the local sites (like Drew’s mine), preceded by flying into Utah and saw the Historic LDS/Mormon Temple, plus a day trip of hiking in the Grand Tetons – lower right photo on the card. Good thing we went over Memorial Day because by Thanksgiving they moved to Denver!

•    Two- years Noah has been serving as resident advisor (lots of life experience) and years left for his mechanical engineering degree

•    One- as in the One who we celebrate this time of year...  

Health, happiness and humor to you in 2019! 

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Sherman, Denise, Noah, Amy and Drew