Ever since I read that the creators have two goals -- to create an entertaining hour of television every week even for those who've never seen the show, and to have all the episodes interlock in order to reward long-time viewers -- I've been more forgiving of the zigs and zags, and will wait until the series finale to pass judgment.
But last night's episode, with a title like Ab Aeterno ("from the beginning of time") and focusing on one of the best characters, the seemingly immortal Richard who shows no sign of aging no matter how far the other characters flash forward or backward in time, had lived up to all my expectations. Long story short, Richard, in trying to save his wife by negotiating with a greedy doctor for her medicine, accidentally killed him. While imprisoned he learned English by reading a English-language Bible. Soon after the priest, speaking in their native Spanish, explained that no amount of Bible reading would save him because murderers are destined to hell, Richard's life was bought by a ship captain who needed English speakers on their trip to the New World.
The ship crashed on The Island, the focal point of Lost, and we get to see Richard struggle with physical survival and eventually mourn the loss of his wife, the dear Isabella. Because it is The Island, Richard ends up reflecting on what he'd lost in life and what he would do (which was anything) to regain his lost treasure -- Isabella. And because it's Lost, he ends up as a ping pong ball between the two main timeless characters who have warred for ages: Jacob and Ethan.
Jacob and Ethan appear as demigods, or at least as master manipulators. There are still many secrets to learn in the seven remaining episodes. What's clear is that Jacob and Ethan are foes and use the people trapped on the island (throughout the centuries) as pawns. What's not clear is who is the good one, and who's bad. Is this some sort of God and Devil conflict? No one knows. But the themes of loss, remorse, sacrifice and redemption are universal, and it's all presented in an alluring manner.
What struck me most about the episode occurred when I read some commentary this morning from Mo Ryan of the Chicago Tribune. (She, Alan Sepinwall and David Bianculli are my favorite TV critics.) Mo is an avid fan and shares everything she loves and disdains about television -- my kind of critic. Mo likens the island to a Hellmouth, as in Buffy the Vampire Slayer Hellmouth (and that's a whole 'nother geek discussion for another day), and NOT Hell. She also empathizes with Richard's loss:
Much of "Ab Aeterno" focused on the ideas of sin, forgiveness, grace, penance and absolution. And faith, obviously. Jacob made Richard ageless, but we found out that Richard wanted to stay alive forever so that he would not go to hell. The poor guy.When I got to the line, "If anyone has earned grace, it's him," I stopped in my tracks. In many ways it's not that noteworthy. We pretty much live our lives trying to be good, help others, make up for the bad things we do, or for the good things that we should have completed. After enough penance, we hope that we've compensated enough. We stockpile enough good stuff to make up for the bad stuff.
Whether or not the island is the actual Hell of his faith, hasn't Richard done enough penance? Hasn't he suffered enough? If anyone has earned grace, it's him. If anyone has had his faith tested, it's him -- he who thought his years on Earth were ultimately a waste of time. And what were his sins, really? He killed a man, accidentally, in order to get medicine for his wife. And then he spent several lifetimes working for a man who he thought was, ultimately, doing good things.
But that's the way the Old Me used to think... the Old Me prior to my baptism at age 23. But truthfully, even after my baptism I continued to think that way, until a few years later I took a class from my mentor, Ed Schroeder, in one of the Crossings classes. Those classes changed my life because they showed me how the Good News permeates my daily life. Not in some sort of academic way, but rather in a very tangible "how do I get through the day and the night kind of way."
Another time I'll go deeper into that personal history, but for now, I can sum up that those Crossings classes were my Confirmation -- or affirmation of my baptism -- lessons. (As an adult baptized there was no need to take a Confirmation class.) That's when I better understood what the "New Me" means. And the biggest distinction is that no one "earns grace." At least not from the Christian perspective.
This entire season of Lent will eventually lead to the Cross and then to the Resurrection. Most people in the world know of this story irrespective of their own beliefs. Most know that it was a pivotal event in human history, that it involves the execution of Jesus and the disappearance of a body. There's been much controversy over the main elements of the story and perhaps even more controversy in the recording and differences of interpretation of those events.
For me, the New Me, the main thing that matters is believing that Jesus died for me. And rose for me. And that in that belief, all the things that kill me (like the incredible stress at work today) are swapped on the Cross and in the Resurrection.
That's not really new; a lot of other people believe this as well. What was eye-opening to the new me was/is that I don't have to do anything to receive these gifts... except to believe, that is. I don't actually deserve any of this goodness. And I can't earn any of this goodness for myself. It is gift -- grace -- pure and simple.
It sounds simple, but it's not simple in practice. I think of all the people who have been generous to me over the years -- parents, other relatives, friends -- and I've been very blessed and am grateful. Grateful to the point where I always, that is ALWAYS, want to reciprocate. Even if it's not immediate, every act of kindness that I receive I immediately think of what can I do in the future to show my appreciation.
That's not a bad thing. If humans weren't hard-wired to reciprocate kindness and generosity I can't fathom how the species could have survived let alone thrived.
But to receive something, a gift -- grace -- without earning it and without deserving it and without reciprocating, that's challenging.
That's something the New Me responds to... every day, and especially during this Lenten season. And so I keep writing...
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