Lent Day 23: More About Time

"Daylight Savings Time" is sometimes called "Summer Time" and it sounds so much better than "Winter Time."  "Winter" sounds like "hinter", which sounds withdrawn, dark, cold and away from the sun, as opposed to "Summer" which just sounds sunny, warm and welcoming.  Even "Savings" Time sounds like something we should do; saving never sounds bad.

But as I wrote recently, "I wonder how much God laughs at the way we bend time to our own uses, and what all of our time-manipulating means in the context of God's time."  I also wonder how much of this sounds like code language or gobbly-gook to a casual observer.  I didn't grow up in the church, and started my spiritual journey in earnest during my senior year of high school.  In essence I grew up as an existentialist, with knowledge, rationality and logic providing me with a framework of how the world works.  It's was so long ago (one might say a lifetime ago) that even now I can't describe how I saw the world as a teenager, without the lenses provided with my baptism (at age 23).

But I do recall looking at the world logically, accepting natural phenomena with a scientific mind.  The life cycle of all things was that creatures are born, live and then die.  The same applies to non-organic things like the water cycle:  evaporation, clouds, rain.  There is a natural order to things.

There's a lot about the Christian faith that doesn't seem logical.  It's difficult if not impossible to prove any of it.  Part of the old me wanted to not believe because I was so scientific (almost Spock-like) that logic would keep my mind spinning in circles.

I'll return to continue that line of thought (in another post), but for now I'm focusing on time, as in God's time.  So much about religion focuses on death after life, or at least that there's something beyond death.  I know what conventional belief describes:  that beyond what we can see (in the living world), there's something out there that we're not meant to see yet.  And we talk often about reuniting in the after-life.

I can't prove that... and I can't disprove it.  A practical (logical?) person could argue:  even if it's not true, what's the harm in believing that?  If you're right, you're covered;  if not, how much effort has gone wasted?

I prefer to look at my own faith in the here and now.  I have done much that I've regretted, and not gotten around to other stuff (which I've also regretted).  The rational side of me says, "nobody's perfect" and give yourself a little slack... you'll do better tomorrow.  But the truth is that the "old me" would have a tough time looking at myself in the mirror knowing the things that I've done and left undone.  The "old me" would have trouble sleeping through the night -- not like a baby, but rather like an adult who has things that keep me awake at night.

The "new me," the one who God loves (and just as importantly I accept and believe that love for me), can look myself in the mirror and sleep with a relatively clear conscience.  I am forgiven.  I am forgiven for my shortcomings.  I can keep trying again the next day, not because it's self-generated, but rather because I am compelled and propelled by God's forgiveness and love.

I can't prove any of this.  But I can state the following, with confidence:  the bothers and regrets that I would have felt (the "old me") comprise hell on earth;  the upbeats and optimism of the "new me" provide "heaven" or a state of grace on earth.  I'm a qualitatively different person because of experiencing heaven on earth.  I'm more loving, grace-filled and compassionate.  I had all of those qualities before to a lesser extent... but I also had fits of burnout from giving so much of myself.  The "new me" is not so much self-replenished as I am God-replenished.

As for time?  I'm grateful for God's time (lasting throughout the ages) in my lifetime in the here and now, extinguishing the hell on earth and providing heaven on earth.  As for the after-life:  the jury's still out, but I'm not part of that jury.  Perhaps I should say "The Judge" is still out on that one, and I trust that my Judge is also My Redeemer, and I know that My Redeemer lives.


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